


My Mask of Love and Lies

by Ashli



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Can we say this has a plot?, Daichi is smitten oh my, Hurt, I meant to add Iwa but oh well, M/M, Oisuga breaks my heart here, Poor Sawamura Daichi, Some People Get A Happy Ending, kinda angsty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-25
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:33:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29687466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashli/pseuds/Ashli
Summary: Could you tell me a time when I was happy?A new relationship crashes Daichi's life spinning it around until all he could see was the darkness encasing him like a barred cage preventing escape.Of course Daichi's always been kindhearted.
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	My Mask of Love and Lies

“He asked me out, Daichi,” He hears Suga tell him, his light cheeks flushed a pale blossom pink and his fiery amber eyes danced around joyously. 

The brunette freezes, blinks slowly, and stares at him, features morphing into disbelief.

“He what?” 

“Come on Daichi, you can hear, he asked me out!” The male shakes his shoulders rigorously, the shock on his pretty face still present. 

Swallowing hard, the captain smiles warmly at the giddy male. He takes the shaking hands atop his broad arms and gently pries them off, a hidden hint of unsettlement passed through his body.

“Really? Now that’s amazing news, Suga!” 

“I know! Tooru’s the one, I’m sure,” Sugawara grins brightly before rushing off to who knows where. 

Watching him, Daichi knows that the vice captain is correct. Never had he seen the other so dazzling, bright eyes, glowing like the sun itself. Of course he knows how much he lost within seconds and of course he will not do anything about it, letting the other slip from his fingers just a grasp away. Putting the silverettes feelings before his own, he’ll pretend to be happy. Happy for him, and just for him. 

“Hello Karasuno!!!” The first time he comes, Daichi isn’t sure how much longer he can take. The pretend smile plastered on his lips feels painted on like his face was a canvas for an artist who couldn’t take the world anymore. His mask began to form. 

“Tooruu over here!” He calls for the intruding brunette and Daichi can’t help but flinch and recoil at the delicate spiderweb cracks easing into his chest leaving small slits in his heart that could never be filled. He watches the “better” captain run to his love, lifting him into their own little world of bliss. 

Tearing his gaze away, Daichi claps his tired hands twice declaring practice over. Suga’s glance spares him one look of appreciation before he is left with only the lingering wisps of how much he cherished the dappled brisk stare. 

Jealousy, no, he doesn’t like to call it that. That emotion rising up his throat, crawling, climbing, threatening to spill all over, but. It doesn’t. It doesn’t because he’s being strong, no not strong either, he’s pretending. That’s right he’s pretending because that’s all he can do as Oikawa pulls his love up for an extravagant kiss on the lips. Happy for him, happy for him. He repeats the words in his mind. 

It was getting hard to breathe.

“Daichi! Take a picture of us!” 

How he ended up third wheeling he’ll never know. It was almost suffocating now, how much weight he’s holding up. That appearance, that happy go lucky cheerful appearance was heavy. He thinks he should pursue acting, for the mask he’s created and put up has deceived just about everyone he’s come into contact with.

The zoo is nice. Oikawa has perfect taste in everything Daichi finds out. No wonder his love had fallen for him. The tiger lounging in front of the pair prowls nearer to him, the thin cage providing him foreign comfort from the large animal. It stares at him, pale sandy eyes containing a sadness he’s familiar with. Suddenly the cage doesn’t seem to be protecting him anymore. 

It starts to ache a lot. The emptiness trapping him in a feeling he could never fall out of. The love lives in his heart still burning brighter than anything else, even the panging, painful, pounding, beats of jealousy, no. Not jealousy still because he is happy. Happy for him. 

“Daichiiiiiiiiiiiiii, could you help me out with something?” Eyes of devotion and meaning stared at him wide. The mask prevents pink flushes of rosy blooms from appearing on his cheeks. 

_ Of course anything  _ he wants to say but instead,

“Sure,” comes out with a hint of strain as if his facade crumbled off slightly like bits of grainy sand falling endlessly. 

“Great! But tomorrow though, I’ll let you know when,” the male winks and Daichi has to call upon the fake expression again because god he’s fallen for this man. 

“Y-yeah,” A second chance is too greedy, the race was already lost before it started. 

Daichi feels like the waves he’s watching, pulling and pushing water back and forth like a melody for a baby who’s falling asleep. White frothy bubbles tickle his rough feet and the salty sea breeze caresses his senses and face. 

The blood coursing through his veins and the steady beating of his pulse reminds Daichi that he is alive, but the air is coming in strangled. He clutches his chest almost as if he was soothing the sore pain building up for  _ years  _ inside his lonely heart. The feeling and outcome is so bittersweet, so melancholic that he can’t help but sigh at the cliche result. 

Barely wincing at the familiar fractures still tearing at his shattered, broken heart, Daichi feels them coming before they do. 

Tears. Wet, hot tears come pouring out of his soft chestnut eyes. Streaming down in ribbons, the silent drops morph into sobs. They descend, grieving, wracking gasps fall from the ruined mask he worked to perfection. The strange water cascading down his face feels like the words he voiced, the words that held no weight or meaning to the couple he tried so desperately to be happy for. 

Emptiness covered a hole in his chest, a cavern of loneliness echoing sorrowful calls for the part he gave to the silverette who still unknowingly carried it.

An envelope slipped from his trembling hand, floating down to the shallow waters of reflective blue. Ah, that’s right. He loved too much and now he’s paying the price. 

And so Daichi pulls back the wounded facade, collecting and mending the deceiving appearance. He picks up the fallen invitation, soaking from the unforgiving sea, paying it no mind as he turns away from the invisible hands stretched out to him answering his wounded momentary call. After all, he will live comforted, staying in his dark, painful cage of love and lies. 

  
  


_ I've loved you since the start _

_ And you’ve always had my heart... _

_ But you never knew.. _

_ I should have moved on by now _

_ But why can’t I be happy for you? _

**Author's Note:**

> My attempt at Daisuga angst, please leave honest feedback and critique, thank you! I'm still learning so this is my fic to grow and improve <3


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